


When You Find You

by CydSA



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-09
Updated: 2010-06-09
Packaged: 2017-10-10 00:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is willing to wait for Kris to find his way back to him</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Find You

  
_You say you gotta go and find yourself  
You say that you're becoming someone else  
Don't recognize the face in the mirror  
Looking back at you_

They bounced off the stage to the loud and happy chants of "Kradison, Kradison, Kradison!" Allison was a ball of twirling, swirling energy around them, spinning in gleeful circles as she took in the atmosphere.

"That was the most awesome thing, everrr!" she exclaimed at the top of her lungs. Adam laughed at her exuberance and looked over at Kris who was chatting with Cale.

"How long are you in town?" Alli asked and Adam brought his gaze back to her.

"I'm going back to LA on Sunday. You'd better get to bed before you turn into a pumpkin, baby girl. You have an early morning." She planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek, whirled and did the same to Kris and left, shouting, "See you back in Hell-ay, suckers!"

Adam waited but Kris seemed intent on discussing something of monumental importance with Cale so he turned with a sigh and headed out.

Lane caught him before he went up to his room and said urgently, "You have to go out tonight."

He shook his head. "Really not interested. I've had too much to drink already and I just want to sleep."

Lane's fingers dug into his arm. "That wasn't a request, your Royal Glitteryness. The boards have exploded over the Kradam hug and the singing and the loving faces. You have to go out."

Adam's mouth thinned. "Is it too much to fucking ask that people not see things that aren't there?" He was sick and tired of all the speculation about his and Kris' relationship. He sighed, "Fine, but I'm not going to stay out long and I'm not going to enjoy it."

And of course he got even drunker and the joint he'd shared with the pretty boy in the bathroom hadn't helped, but making out with the same boy had. He'd not taken it any further though, Lane hadn't let him. She knew how frustrated he was and gently pried him away from his fans and took him back to the hotel.

When he let himself into his room, he noticed the lump on his bed. The Kris-shaped lump his heart recognised long before his head put a name to it.

"Kris?" he asked the lump and the moan he got as a reply made him smile. "You're in my bed, baby, I warned you the last time what would happen if you did that."

Kris rolled over lazily, eyes still drooped in sleep. "You wouldn't dare," he stated confidently and shrieked a little when Adam pounced and dug long fingers between his rib bones in a relentless tickle.

Adam was just a little too drunk, Kris was just a bit too relaxed and the laughing slowly stuttered out when they realised that Adam was practically lying on top of Kris.

"Oops?" Adam giggled and dropped his head onto Kris' chest.

Kris shoved at him with a laugh. "Move, you ass, you weigh a ton."

Adam flinched and rolled away. He still wasn't over his 'fat kid' fears. "Sorry," he mumbled and shoved his face into a pillow.

Kris sighed, "You are such high maintenance!" he complained, "You're worse than Katy with your constant need for reassurance."

Adam squeezed his eyes shut and ignored Kris. He hated that he hated his body but they stayed with him, those memories of the fat, freckled red-headed kid who had no friends.

Kris rolled into him, throwing an arm around his waist. "I keep forgetting," he said softly and Adam stiffened, listened. "I see you on stage and you're this glittering, alien thing and I keep forgetting just how fragile and breakable you are." Warm lips pressed against his upper arm as he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Adam heaved a sigh and turned so that they were facing each other, sharing a pillow, Kris' arm still lying across his stomach. "I'm over-sensitive," he admitted and Kris grinned.

"Yes you are, but if you weren't then you wouldn't be the Adam I know and love." Kris rubbed his face against the material of Adam's shirt and wrinkled his nose. "You stink," he informed him and Adam sat up.

"I was at a club, with some people." He looked down at Kris. "Smoked a little weed, made out with a pretty twink. Good times."

Kris glared at him. "That was irresponsible. You could have been seen."

Adam got off the bed, peeled of his shirt and toed off his boots. "That was kind of the whole point, baby." He was aware of the bite in his voice, but he was tired and angry and horny and most of it was because of the gorgeous, married man frowning at him from his bed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kris demanded, following him to the bathroom.

Adam turned on the shower and kept his back to Kris. "Lane politely told me that we set off all the 'Kradam' alarms again tonight, so I had to go out and appear available while you could come here and sleep the sleep of the innocent." He pulled off his jeans and heard Kris' sharp intake of breath, but ignored it as he climbed into the shower. Kris had seen him naked often enough.

"I don't understand," Kris persisted and Adam shoved his head under the water, drowning him out.

"Of course you don't," Adam breathed under the hot water, eyes burning from the mascara running into them. "You never have."

"What?" Kris called but Adam stayed silent. "Adam? What the hell is wrong with you tonight?"

Adam grimaced. "Go away please, man. Just … I'll …. fuck…." Adam tipped his head back and let the water stream over his face.

"Adam?" Kris' voice seemed more urgent, more confused and Adam was hard and hungry and he decided to show rather than tell.

He spun around and pushed the shower door open, glaring at Kris. "I went out tonight because our management felt the need to do damage control."

Kris just stared at him, mouth working silently as he let his gaze roam over the soaking wet skin exposed in front of him. Instead of backing away, he stepped forward though, eyes dark and fascinated.

"Kris," Adam groaned, control slipping rapidly, "You really need to go back to your room now." He'd wanted to shock Kris, but he should have remembered Kris' tendency to surprise him.

"Adam," Kris breathed his name like a benediction and Adam just stood there, shaking and watching as Kris inched closer. They'd never crossed the line. Not like this. They'd kissed a couple of times, high on weed or drunk after a show, but nothing like this.

Adam felt the slow stroke of Kris' hand down the centre of his chest and then the heat of his fingers around his cock and he was just gone.

His hands were everywhere, pulling Kris' shirt off and mapping every inch of his flesh with his mouth and tongue and teeth until Kris lay wrecked and open and desperate for him to take him. So he did.

_You say you're leavin' as you look away  
I know there's really nothin' left to say  
Just know I 'm here whenever you need me  
I'll wait for you_

Kris left before Adam woke up. He groaned and stuffed a pillow over his head because seriously, the sun was over-rated and it was making him blind.

His mouth felt as though it was stuffed with cotton wool and he staggered to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He noticed the neatly folded towel next to the basin and the still damp soap and felt his heart clench.

Last night had been like something out of a dream. He looked at himself in the mirror and scowled at the dark circles under his eyes. Then he closed them and let himself remember the taste, the feel, the sheer pleasure of being with Kris.

His eyes flew open and he stared at his shocked reflection. He'd been _with_ Kris in the most biblical sense of the word and Kris had left. He wasn't sure what that meant, but it couldn't be good.

He left the bathroom and pulled on his most comfortable clothes. He had a couple of radio shows today and then was heading back to LA the next day. Alli and Kris were probably already in Florida.

He moped around the entire day, wanting to call Kris but too scared to. The silence was deafening. He'd told Lane to leave him alone and then he'd done the unplugged concert for Iheartradio and bitched at the stupid cow who wouldn't get off her fucking phone and he just wanted to find a hole to crawl into and lick his wounds.

Then one of his fans tweeted that she was at Kris' concert and he'd just sung a Coldplay song, "The Scientist" and Adam felt his heart lurch again. Maybe he was reading into things but maybe it was Kris' way of letting him know how he was feeling.

He called him, "You sang something new tonight?"

The low chuckle sent a pleasant little jolt of electricity down his spine and around his dick. "Yeah, me and Cale came up with it in the car. I thought you'd like it."

_"Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard,"_ Adam quoted and Kris sighed.

"Adam, I need you to give me some time. What happened last night…it meant something to me. I'm not sure what yet, but I know that I love you and I don't want to lose you." Kris stopped.

Adam asked softly, "Is there a chance that we could work in the real world?"

"I don't know," Kris admitted, "I mean, last night, it was amazing and mind-blowing and better than anything I've ever felt but I don't know the person I've become." His voice dropped, "I don't know the man who cheated on his wife last night."

Adam tightened his lips, trying to stop the trembling. "I can't help you with that."

"I know," Kris told him, "I'm the one who has to sort my shit out." He sighed again. "Can you give me some time?"

"Sure," Adam said, "Take all the time you need. I'm here for you though, if you need me." He wanted to kick his own ass when he heard himself make the offer, but he meant it. Kris was his friend first, before anything else and he _would_ be there for him.

The relief in Kris' voice was telling. "Thanks man. And you won't..?" he trailed off and Adam felt the first stirrings of anger. He knew what Kris was asking.

"What the fuck?" he exclaimed, "You expect me to go out and announce to TMZ that I fucked the American Idol? Thank you very fucking much!"

"Adam! Shit! I meant…" And Adam switched off his phone because he just knew that the little shithead was going to give him a lecture on not talking to anyone about anything and he was much smarter than Kris when it came to the media and honestly who did the fucker think he was? Yeah, he might had over-reacted just a bit there.

He sat down on the window bench and looked out at the New York skyline. This city had been the place where he'd finally admitted out loud how he felt about Kris. That crazy GMA morning and the New York shows and the drinking in the room when Katy had fucked off with her friends. That had been the culmination of his Kris-obsession. It hadn't stopped since then.

Now, full circle, but this time his memories would be tangible.

Kris' mouth, bitten and swollen and wrapped around his cock.

Kris' hands, strong and calloused and bruising his skin in ownership.

Kris' body, hard and golden and bowed up in his arms as he pressed in.

The memories were burnt behind his eyes in a constant reel of want.

New York might just be his favourite town in the whole entire world. His mouth quirked in a wry grin. "I'm going back to the start," he hummed softly. LA might be home, but New York was the "concrete jungle where dreams were made". Now he had to wait for Kris to find his way home. To him.

_So I'll let you go I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me_

The next week was hectic with planning his Donors Choose chat and spending the morning at the Belvedere school, but he preferred to keep busy rather than think about what Kris was doing. As it was, he was kept up to date on the increasingly bizarre tweets from Katy by a number of his friends. He grew concerned when she appeared to know nothing about Kris' plans and called Simon Fuller to tell him to either gag her or teach her the right things to say.

But they didn't shut her up and she didn't stop. Then Kris left for Haiti and Adam had a quiet freak-out session, praying to a God he'd spent little time with lately, to please keep him safe and bring him home in one piece.

The chat went smoothly until the question about the roommate situation and he just couldn't help himself and the little aside, "Plus he's cute," popped out before he could stop it. He heard himself say it but there was nothing he could do about it. He looked up and saw Lane rolling her eyes and pointing at the chat monitor and the twitter feeds and it had all exploded. Crap.

So he went out that night with Brad, the only person he felt safe enough to call and ask, "Will you be my beard?" The paparazzi were all over them but Adam just smiled and Brad pulled his bitch face and they headed off the gossip at the pass.

He waited with baited breath and only relaxed when he saw Kris' tweet about being home and seeing the smiles and really wanted to call, but he didn't because he was being mature and responsible and giving Kris the space that he'd asked for.

Then it was Thursday and Kris sang "Let it Be" on American Idol and owned them all. Adam sat there, watching it live, tears on his cheeks, beaming with such pride. Kris had shown everyone exactly why he deserved to be the reigning Idol and there was no doubt on the face of Simon Cowell either.

Adam wanted to call him and congratulate him but he decided to RT his Haiti donation tweet instead. Solidarity, he thought, the key to a Southern boy's heart.

When he performed at the Fantasy Springs Resort, his set included an acoustic version of "Whole Lotta Love" and then a first time performance of "Broken Open". Both songs were a message to Kris. That he was still waiting. And he was, except Lane told him to go out with a cute boy the following night because people were speculating about him and his lack of a steady relationship.

"I don't want to pretend to be with someone!" he whined and Lane just looked at him.

"You _need_ to pretend to be with someone." Her voice was hard, unbending and he sighed.

"Why?"'

She shook her head. "Haven't you heard the rumours about Kris and Katy and you?"

Adam laughed, "Honey, there have always been rumours about us, that's not going to change."

She raised an eyebrow and Adam thought that he might need to ask her to teach him how to do that so perfectly. "Well, the rumours are that Kris and Katy have separated and that they're about to submit divorce papers." She cocked her head. "Know anything about that?"

Adam shook his head. "No, we haven't really talked since the concert in New York and he didn't say anything then." He felt a spark of hope grow but tried to tamp it down. "Is there any truth to the rumours?" He tried not to sound too eager.

"No," said Lane, "And if anyone asks you then you tell them that they're talking shit, okay?"

Adam agreed glumly and then let Lane poke at him until he called Brad and asked him to come out and play again.

Brad was having far too much fun with it. He'd dressed down for the first date, but had gone to town for this one. He wore knee high black boots with short silver shorts and a black waistcoat.

"Won't you get cold?" Adam asked dryly and Brad grinned.

"Alcohol warms me right up, sugar lips." He knew Brad spent a lot of time standing in front of his mirror practising those looks so he was immune.

"Don't embarrass me tonight," he warned and that sharp little face lit up and those dark eyes twinkled.

"As if!" he exclaimed, "This is my moment in the spotlight. I'm not going to ruin it."

And he was perfect when they got to the restaurant, allowing Adam to shield him from the shouting paps, dimpling for them and giving them a small wave as Adam ushered him in, letting Adam place a firm hand in the small of his back and not stumble when pushed none too gently to his seat.

"Asshole," he hissed out of the corner of his mouth, still maintaining the sparkling smile.

Adam snorted a laugh into his martini. "Pot meet kettle," he muttered and their eyes met in perfect harmony and they giggled together.

Adam trusted Brad. He didn't trust many people, but Brad had earned that trust by never revealing anything about their previous relationship to the media.

"Thanks for doing this," Adam said with a smile and Brad tipped his glass.

"You are most welcome." He propped his chin on his hand and gazed intently at Adam. "So why the sudden need to be seen dating?"

Adam groaned. "Fucking Kris Allen," he said.

Brad perked up. "Really?" he asked, tone arch and eyes fascinated. "Do tell."

Adam and Brad still had the same verbal shorthand they'd developed while dating. "Kris and I, well, we sort of, you know, did something about all that sexual tension you kept teasing me about when I was on Idol," he confessed.

Brad's face sharpened. "Are you serious? You and the Pocket Idol…?" he made a crude gesture with his fist and Adam flushed.

"Stop it and don't call him that," he muttered.

"Well, paint me green and call me jealous," Brad exclaimed and Adam started laughing. "So, what are you doing about it, petal?" he asked.

Adam tossed back the rest of his drink and said, "I'm giving him the space he asked me for, that's what I'm doing about it."

Brad waved at the waiter and wiggled his glass to indicate that he wanted a refill and then turned back to Adam. "Honestly, you're gorgeous and talented and sexy but you're an utter moron when it comes to love."

Adam agreed, "Yeah, I mean look who I chose to be my first real love," he waved a hand at Brad who stuck his tongue out, "I chose you."

"And you're fucking lucky you did," Brad told him snidely and they smiled at one another. "Seriously though, what are you going to do?"

Adam picked up a breadstick and nibbled thoughtfully on it. "I'm going to do what he asks. You know that saying, 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was'?" Brad nodded. "Well, that's my strategy with Kris."

Brad rolled his eyes. "Noble ass."

Adam grinned. "You love me anyway."

Brad sighed. "True. I, however, am really far too good for you." And they ate and were oblivious to the photographs being taken, just enjoying each other's company.

_Take your time I won't go anywhere  
Picture you with the wind in your hair  
I'll keep your things right where you left them  
I'll be here for you_

Kris texted him the next morning asking if he'd had a good time. Adam grinned in delight. Jealousy was a very good start.

He sent a message back saying yes of course he had, Brad was one of his best friends. The evil grin when he pushed 'send' belied the innocuous text.

Kris called him after that, "So are you and Brad back together?" his question was casual, his tone was anything but.

"We've been out a couple of times," Adam hedged, not wanting to lie.

"You looked like you were having fun," Kris told him.

"We were."

"Oh." The pause was long and then he asked, "I thought…" he trailed off.

"You said you wanted to figure out what you wanted," Adam reminded him.

"You said you'd be there," Kris accused.

"And I am," Adam told him, "I said that I would always be here for you."

"I thought you meant…" Kris trailed off again and Adam forced himself to laugh.

"I'm not going to wait around for you, Kristopher. When you get your shit together, then we can talk. Until then, I'm a free bitch, baby." Kris had to make the changes on his own, Adam didn't ever want to have this thrown back in his face.

"I've asked Katy for a divorce," Kris confessed and Adam had to contain the crow of triumph and delight. The urge to leap silently around the room wasn't as easily stopped though.

"What did she say?" Adam tried to sound relaxed but it was the least relaxed he'd ever felt in his entire life.

Kris took a deep breath. "She said she needed some time."

Adam felt every happy thought and feeling seep out of his body and he made himself say, "I suppose that's fair, right? I mean, you two have been together for so long."

"No," Kris insisted, "It's not fair."

"So, what next?" Adam asked, almost afraid to get the answer.

"I guess I wait for her to tell me what she wants." Kris sounded unsure and Adam was suddenly tired.

"I won't be sitting up waiting for you to call me every night," he warned Kris, a slight edge to his voice. "I need to know that my reward for good behaviour is you."

Kris snorted. "You've never deserved a reward for good behaviour. You've never behaved good…well."

They both laughed and Kris said softly, "I'm working it out, just don't give up."

Adam sighed, "And quoting my songs back at me is going to make me love you less." The little chuckle on the other side told him that it was totally deliberate.

"I have to go." Kris said suddenly. "I'll call you soon, okay?"

But then it was March and Australia and the Mardi Gras there and holy fuck so much temptation. He resisted it all though, much to Lane's dismay.

"Are you my fucking pimp now?" he asked her in exasperation after he'd sent the latest suitor crawling away.

Shi did that looking down her nose at him thing and said, "I am trying to deflect attention if you would just fucking co-operate!" They glared at each other for a moment and then Adam threw up his hands.

"Fine! Make me a date with a pretty boy, but make him understand that it's only wining and dining and nothing more." He wagged his finger at her and she grinned, complacent that she'd won. Then he asked, "Have you heard anything about Kris and Katy?"

She hunched her shoulders up to her ears and then released them with a grimace. "Only that divorce papers have been filed and that they still love one another and they're still friends and blah blah blah." She made a gagging motion with one finger. "They are awfully precious, aren't they?"

"Mm," Adam mumbled, mind racing. If they'd filed for divorce then why hadn't Kris called him? He wanted to ask Lane to call Kris' assistant but figured he'd probably get his ass handed to him so he slumped down in his chair and brooded.

The date went well and the paparazzi all took photos and US Weekly's website called it, "Adam does Down Under", which made him snort a little but at least they weren't asking him questions about Kris.

_I can't get close if you're not there  
I can't get inside if there's no soul to bear  
I can't fix you I can't save you  
It's something you have to do_

Then he flew to Singapore and then onto Japan and landed in England halfway through March, jet-lagged and wired and freaking out because there had been nothing from Kris. Not a tweet, not a text, not a call. Nothing.

So he called Kim. "Hey Mrs. A." He smiled at the squeak when she recognized him.

"Adam! Honey! What a wonderful surprise. Where are you calling me from?" she knew the life he led because her son was leading a similar one.

"I just landed in London," he told her.

"London, England?" she asked and then barrelled ahead with questions about Big Ben and Buckingham Palace and the Queen without giving him a chance to say anything. He just lay back on the bed and let her comforting babble wash over him.

"…talked to Kris?" brought him right back and he sat up.

"No, I haven't, not for weeks now. That's actually why I called you," he confessed.

She sighed, a real 'I don't know what to do with him even though he's my son and I love him' sigh. "He's being so stubborn."

"What's going on?" Adam asked.

Kim grumbled, "He's telling everyone that he's fine and that he and Katy are okay but how can they be okay if they're getting divorced?"

Adam gulped. He wondered what Kris had told his mother about them, or even _if_ Kris had said anything. "I guess maybe he means that they don't hate each other?" he offered weakly.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that I wasn't happy about the divorce. I am. Completely. It's the right thing for both of them." Adam stared at his phone in shock at her bluntness as Kim continued, "It's just that Katy and Kris have been such a big part of each other's lives for so long, that not being together has to be tough."

"Maybe he's ready for something new?" Adam ventured quietly and Kim laughed knowingly.

"Adam, Kris has told me all about you and him and that he loves you." She paused and then said, "I'm not saying that it wasn't a shock, with the divorce and then Kris telling us that he was in love with you. Neil did not take it well."

Adam flinched, now he really wasn't looking forward to meeting up with the Allen's again once this was all over. "I…."

Kim just told him, "I love Kris, I love you, I love your family. I have been taught that 'love never fails' so I'm telling you right now, I think you are very good for my boy. You push him and make him actually **do** things instead of sitting on his butt and waiting for things to happen."

She took a breath, "Kris told us straight up that if we weren't okay with you and him then he was prepared to put you first and cut us out of his life." She gave a teary sniff and Adam swallowed the suddenly huge lump in his throat. "As if we'd ever not support him in anything he did."

She sounded incredulous and Adam sent a little prayer heavenwards. "I love you, Mrs. A," he told her sincerely with a smile. "You know that you're wonderful, right?"

She chuckled, "Of course I am, where do you think Kris gets it from?" He laughed with her. "Are you going to call him?" she asked softly.

"No," Adam said, "He knows my number and where I am. He'll call when he's ready." He hoped. The two week rule was already broken and now he hadn't spoken to Kris in three weeks and he was a little freaked out to be honest.

"Well, you know best," Kim replied doubtfully. "When are you coming home?" she asked.

"I think it's the 26th or 27th, I'm not sure, I'd have to ask Lane," he said.

"Oh." Her voice was small. "Kris leaves for Rwanda on the 26th."

Adam dropped his head back onto the pillow and grabbed another one and shoved it over his face, groaning, "I totally forgot!" He pulled the pillow away and asked, "When's he back from that?"

Kim rustled a few papers and then said, "It says the 3rd of April but I'm not 100% sure."

Adam felt like crying. A month without Kris. It was the longest they'd ever been apart and he was already in withdrawal and he didn't understand why Kris wasn't calling. "That's forever," he whined and Kim laughed.

"Only when you're young and in love." That was when Adam truly fell in love with Kris' family too.

The knock on his door made him start. "Crap! I have to go. It was really good talking to you again, Mrs A," he said.

"Honey, you're a part of the family now so it's either Kim or Mama, okay?" she instructed.

"Okay, Kim. Thank you." They said their goodbyes and Adam was dragged into the insanity of his schedule once more.

_So I'll let you go I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me  
Come back to me_

Getting back to LA after three plus weeks on the road felt alien to Adam. His mother waited for him when he walked out of the gates and she threw her arms around him in joy.

"Thank God you're home!" she exclaimed and Adam squeezed her back.

"Hey Mom," he was dizzy tired and just wanted to find the nearest soft spot, it didn't even have to be a bed. "It's good to be home," he admitted.

Lane hugged Leila too and after collecting their luggage, they headed out to the waiting car. Lane shook her head when they invited her to join them.

"Thank you, but no. I just want to home and not talk about Adam for the next 24 hours." She sounded as tired as he was. "I love and adore you, but you are just too much high maintenance." She kissed his cheek and then looked at him in warning. "Stay away from the Pocket Idol."

"Stop calling him that!" It was him automatic defence mechanism and Lane's lips twisted.

"I am serious!" she said and Leila touched her arm.

"Kris is in Rwanda for the next week, Lane. I think Adam's virtue is safe," she said drily.

Adam stalked to the car and climbed in, folding his arms. "Fuck you both," he growled, scowling at them, "You two should take your stand-up routine to Vegas."

Leila patted his arm when she climbed in. "There, there, darling, tell Mommy all about your problems."

He jutted his bottom lip out in a pout. "Are you sure you're my mother? I swear that I was kidnapped as a child and placed with you guys by accident."

His mother rolled her eyes. "Yes of course, you're the Glittery Alien Prince from Planet Fierce and your father's name was Jor-el."

"No, seriously, I hate you," he informed her and sank into her gratifyingly maternal embrace.

"Welcome home, baby boy." She pressed a kiss on his temple and he sighed and closed his eyes. Moms were the best invention ever.

She shook him awake when they arrived at his house and helped him stumble to bed. He fell on it, face forward and crashed.

It was late when he got up and wandered out to the kitchen. He saw a note posted on his fridge and smiled at his mother's extremely clear instructions on how to warm up his food if he wanted and a sharp 'Call Kris' added to it with a frowning face and a couple of exclamation marks.

He popped the container in the microwave and went to his sitting room to wait for it to heat up. He put the television on and went to a news channel, feeling as though he'd missed out on a lot while he'd been traipsing around the globe.

The microwave chimed and he collected his food and sat down in front of the TV and ate. He was miserable.

The phone rang and he looked at the caller ID and froze. "Hey Katy," he said cautiously and then held the phone about a foot away from his ear as she yelled at him.

"Wait! What? I'm sorry but I didn't mean to fall in love with…what?" He couldn't hear what she was saying. He didn't think bats could hear what she was saying. She was working at a frequency unknown to man.

"Katy! Shut up!" And she did. "Why are you calling me? I know that I'm not your favourite person right now so this is all a little weird."

Katy huffed, "Adam Lambert, you are the dumbest guy on the planet, I swear if I was there I would so kick your ass!"

Adam was confused. "Dumb?" he could understand it if she called him a husband-stealing whore (he liked the alliteration) but he didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"Yes! Dumb as a stump!" Katy's voice was rising again and Adam headed her off.

"Why? What did I do?" He knew what he'd done, but he didn't think it was dumb. It would result in him being stoned in Iraq and quite possibly beheaded in other countries but it was probably the smartest thing he'd ever done, stepping back and letting Kris make his choices on his own.

"When last did you talk to Kris?" Katy asked instead and Adam frowned.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" he complained, "I told him I'd give him space."

"I don't think he meant the entire solar system," Katy replied archly.

"What do you mean..?" Adam asked blankly.

"Ugh! Boys, honestly!" Katy sounded really irritated. "He made the big gesture, Adam. He's divorcing me."

"And aren't you supposed to be mad with me for that?" Adam asked helpfully.

She growled, "You and Kris are more married than Kris and I ever were. It was a pretty easy decision to make once I realised that I had been second best for about a year." Adam blinked and she continued matter-of-factly, "I know how upset Kris was about asking me for the divorce. We cried a lot when I said yes."

Adam's voice was small when he asked, "Kris told me he'd call me when he was ready. I'm just giving him what he wants."

Katy sighed, "Adam, Kris is terrified. He's basically given up everything he knows for you. His church, his wife, his normal life," She paused, "It's going to be so hard for him now, but he wants you, he wants to be with you, he's head-over-heels stupid in love with you."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with the real Katy Allen?" Adam demanded. This was all just a little too perfect for him.

She said, "Let's just say that I've grown up quickly in the last few weeks and Kris has no reason to feel guilty about divorcing me."

"But…" Adam really wanted to know what the fuck she was talking about but she talked right over him.

"I'm not saying anything more, Kris and I are getting an extremely amicable divorce, I am getting a lovely lot of money and you need to get your ass in gear and claim your guy!" She put the phone down with an angry click and Adam stared thoughtfully into the distance.

He called Lane.

She cursed him and called him all sorts of ugly things, suggesting anatomical positions that sounded impossible which only intrigued him so he made a note to think about them later. But she totally came through for him.

He promised her a raise and she told him to shove it. He meant it though.

_And I hope you find everything that you need  
I'll be right here waiting to see  
You find you come back to me_

His palms were sweaty and he rubbed them on his jeans and then raised a fist to knock on the door.

It was worth the twenty-seven hour indirect route he'd had to take to get to Rwanda when he saw Kris' surprised face.

It was worth past weeks of agonized wondering when he saw the smile burst across Kris' face.

It was worth the months of waiting and hoping when he watched those chocolate eyes melt from joy to love to heat in the space of a heartbeat.

It was worth every fucking moment it had taken them to get here, to this place, right now as Kris stepped into his arms and whispered against his throat, "You're here, you're really here."

Adam felt the burning of unshed tears behind his eyes as he bent his head and pressed a kiss to the mouth he'd dreamed of forever.

"I waited for you to call, to tell me it was okay, that we were okay." Adam told him and Kris opened his mouth but he continued, "Then I realised that by getting the divorce you'd told me that already, that you'd be waiting for me." He kissed Kris again and enjoyed the shiver that rocked his body. "Sorry it took me so long to get here."

Kris grinned up at him, mouth damp from their kisses. "That's okay, you may be slow, but you're a quick study."

"And once I learn how to do something, I never forget how to do it," Adam told him with a smile.

"So can I ask you why you're here?" Kris enquired, arms still clamped around Adam's waist.

"Katy told me that you'd made the grand gesture with the divorce," Adam admitted and smiled, "So I reckoned that I should at least try to match that gesture with one of my own."

Kris grinned, "You're going to try and top me for the rest of our lives aren't you?"

Adam bent down and kissed him again, rough, dirty and a little bit desperate.

"Only if you're very good and very, very lucky, baby. What can I say, I like the top."

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://ceci-09.livejournal.com/profile)[**ceci_09**](http://ceci-09.livejournal.com/) who donated $30 for a fic at the [](http://community.livejournal.com/help_haiti/profile)[**help_haiti**](http://community.livejournal.com/help_haiti/) comm.


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